How Past Trauma and Relationship Insecurities Lead to False Accusations and How a Polygraph Test Restores Clarity
In this blog, we’ll discuss why past issues, hidden trauma, and poor former relationships can cause current relationships to spiral out of control, often leading to false allegations, mistrust, and emotional chaos. We’ll also explain how a polygraph examination, conducted by a trained and empathetic examiner, can bring clarity, closure, and a sense of reality in as little as three hours or less.
Important Disclaimer: As in all my blogs, I want to reiterate that I am not a licensed marriage or relationship therapist, a marital or family attorney, or a clinical psychologist. I never promise that I am in any of these professions.
However, with 25 years of dedicated and empathetic experience helping thousands of couples, I have the right to shed light on what I have been told, what I have observed, and how I have assisted others in situations similar to yours. My goal is to help you move forward with what troubles you.
If your situation involves danger, domestic violence, or anything requiring immediate professional intervention, please call 911 or contact law enforcement, a licensed therapist, psychologist, or marital/family attorney.
If anything in this blog disturbs you, please stop reading and seek immediate help.
A Reminder Every Couple Needs to Hear
I wrote something years ago that hangs in my office, and it is probably the most photographed statement couples read:
“Every person you love has a past that bothers them. Do not let their past interfere with your relationship to grow strong!”
Read that again and let it sink in.
Even you, the reader, have a past that troubles you. Every person has regrets. I have regrets too. Regret often holds us down. We cannot change the past; that’s why it’s called the past, yet we allow it to creep into our daily lives. I know I have.
I’ve had colleagues in this profession who harmed others through poor polygraph practices, yet they were rewarded and praised. I’ve had people attempt to ruin my reputation. These individuals do not deserve space in my mind, yet I still think of them sometimes.
Letting go isn’t easy. But to live a healthy, meaningful life, we must.
Why Relationships Go Wrong Before They Even Begin
When we meet someone we’re interested in, we don’t sit down with a pen and paper and ask the hard questions. We ask the simple ones:
What’s your favorite place to eat?
Do you have any siblings?
Where did you go to school?
What do you do for a living?
What do you do for fun?
Do you have children?
We rarely ask:
Have you been cheated on?
Have you cheated?
Have you ever been arrested?
Do you watch porn, and how often?
Have you ever hit someone you dated?
Yes, these questions might send up red flags on a first date, but they also reveal honesty, commitment, and emotional readiness.
What usually happens is that we learn the truth later, once we’re already invested. Or we discover someone has so much damage from past relationships that we become the new target of their fears, insecurities, and accusations.
How Past Trauma Becomes Present Accusations
Everyone has a story about an ex: the cheater, the liar, the abusive partner, the one who hid messages, the one who refused intimacy, the one who took your money, or the one who betrayed you with a friend. This is why they are called exes.
But the problem is what happens next: You carry that trauma into the next relationship. You carry it like a scarlet letter.
You try to give the new person a fair chance, but in the back of your mind, you quietly ask yourself:
Will he cheat like the last one?
Will she hide messages, too?
Will he hit me?
Will she use me for money?
Will he lie about porn?
Will she betray me with my friends?
You don’t say these things out loud because you don’t want to ruin something new, but the baggage grows. Baggage becomes insecurity. Insecurity becomes stories you tell yourself:
“He’s late coming home. He must be having sex with someone.”
“She works with a lot of men and won’t answer my calls. She must be having sex with one of them.”
“I swear I heard a man’s voice in the background when she answered the phone. There must be someone in our house.”
These thoughts repeat over and over, building momentum.
When Accusations Start Without Evidence
As you repeat these stories in your mind, fueled by insecurity, they start to feel real. Before you even talk to your significant other, you begin searching for what you believe is evidence. You check the laundry for a man’s scent. You inspect underwear for stains. You scroll through their phone, replay imagined scenarios, and convince yourself something must be happening.
Eventually, you believe you’ve found your “Ah-ha!” moment, and you go straight into confrontation mode:
“Who was home when I called you? I heard a man’s voice.”
“It was the TV,” they say.
You call it a lie. They call you paranoid. And the mistrust escalates.
Or it goes the other way:
“Who is 819-***?”
“It’s my boss calling about work.”
But again, they don’t believe you.
It spirals. Past trauma mixes with mistrust from previous relationships, unspoken sexual abuse, domestic violence, heavy porn use, emotional neglect, and more. The cycle can go on for weeks, months, or years, depending on the circumstances.
Suddenly, you’re in a heated, emotional back-and-forth with no real evidence. Children may be dragged in. Restraining orders may appear. Family may take sides, or you isolate completely. And still, there is no proof.
At this point, one solution can bring immediate clarity: Offer to take a polygraph test, or ask your partner to take one.
How a Polygraph Test Helps in Situations Like This
A polygraph can bring immediate truth and direction, but only when done by the right examiner.
You need someone who understands trauma, insecurity, infidelity concerns, and emotional volatility. Not someone who charges $145 or $350 and rushes you in and out. Not someone who treats you like a bakery number waiting to be called.
A proper relationship polygraph should include:
A full interview with both parties
Time to understand the entire issue
No pressure, no rushing
A professional, detailed polygraph designed specifically for relationship concerns
This is the type of examination I offer. There is no time limit. You are not rushed in and pushed out. Your truth matters, and your peace of mind matters.
After the interview, the polygraph is conducted with precision and care. Once it's completed, closure is provided. The kind that stops insecurities, stops accusations, and finally allows the truth to speak louder than fear.
But here is what a polygraph cannot do: A polygraph cannot force someone to believe the truth if they refuse to accept it.
If someone sees their partner pass and still insists they are lying, nothing in the world (not even the most accurate polygraph) will change their mind. At that point, it becomes a matter of personal choice, and often, a necessary turning point in the relationship.
The same is true if someone fails and refuses to believe the results. Denial does not erase truth.
A polygraph helps those who truly want clarity. It helps those who want to stop the exhausting cycle of suspicion. It helps those who are ready to let go of past trauma and move forward.
This is the power of an experienced, professional polygraph examiner.
This is where closure begins.
Take the Next Step Toward Clarity
If you want the chaos and confusion to finally end, it begins with choosing the right examiner. You may reach out to someone you trust, or you may contact me directly. No matter where you’re located, I will assist you.
Never hesitate to take a polygraph test if you believe it will help you. Your emotions, stress, or past trauma will not affect your results when tested by a highly trained, experienced examiner.
If you’re ready to uncover the truth, stop the false accusations, and move forward with confidence, contact Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service today.
When the Truth Matters, Trust Executive Protection Group
Connect with Mr. David Goldberg, founder of Executive Protection Group and a Virginia State-Licensed, Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner with more than 30 years of combined investigative and polygraph experience.
Executive Protection Group proudly serves clients across Virginia and nationwide, with private on-site examinations available for important matters across the country.
At Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service, our mission is simple: To eliminate doubt, uncover the truth, and provide the clarity and confidence you need to move forward.
Take the first step toward truth, resolution, and freedom today.
To learn more about how we can support you, visit our website or call today to schedule your private, professional polygraph examination.
Because when the truth matters most, so does the examiner you choose.
