Is Watching Pornography, Flirting, or Emotional Attachment Outside Your Relationship Considered Cheating?
In this blog, we’ll discuss three questions that many women, and often some men, ask:
Is viewing pornography behind your partner’s wishes considered cheating?
Is flirting with other women or men outside the relationship cheating?
Is having a deep emotional attachment to someone else considered cheating?
If you answered yes to any of these, you are correct.
If you answered no, you may be rationalizing certain behaviors, or not seeing the hurt and damage these actions cause your partner or significant other.
Many people struggle with the topic of pornography, and we’ll explore each of these questions to help you better understand their emotional and relational impact.
Why People Keep Secrets in Relationships
People in relationships often carry deep secrets they’re afraid to share—out of fear of judgment, rejection, or resentment. Many have unresolved trauma, including childhood abuse or exposure to violence, that shapes who they are and how they behave. These experiences can manifest as addiction, anger, aggression, or emotional withdrawal.
At the beginning of a relationship, we rarely see someone’s darker traits. We see their charm, humor, and best selves. Unfortunately, some individuals (particularly narcissistic or controlling partners) use that charm to gain trust before showing their true nature. By the time the mask slips, you may already feel trapped.
Pornography and Secrecy in Relationships
Pornography is often overlooked unless someone has strong moral or religious convictions against it. Most people assume it’s harmless… until it becomes personal.
Pornography rarely comes up early in dating. You don’t ask, “Hey, what kind of porn are you into?” over dinner. It’s a taboo topic, often hidden until discovered. When one partner secretly views pornography, it can cause deep feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and body image issues for the other.
Men may worry about not measuring up physically to what they see on screen, while women may fear not being “enough” or feel shamed by their partner’s viewing habits. Likewise, women who watch pornography may hide it due to fear of judgment, especially if their viewing preferences include other women.
As a 24-year certified polygraph examiner, I’ve tested thousands of individuals, both those claiming to be addicted and those who deny it. What I can tell you is this: most people who say they “only watch occasionally” or “only heterosexual porn” are not telling the full truth. You would be surprised, and sometimes disturbed, by the range of material people actually consume.
Why People Watch Porn Against Their Partner’s Wishes
There are several possible reasons why someone views pornography despite their partner’s objections:
Lack of intimacy in the relationship
Boredom or emotional distance
Longstanding habits developed through trauma or abuse
High sexual drive or need for visual stimulation
When caught, many deflect responsibility, blaming their partner, claiming “addiction,” or downplaying the frequency.
Do not accept “porn addiction” as an excuse unless the person has been officially diagnosed by a licensed physician trained in addiction. Otherwise, it’s often a deflection of accountability.
Is Viewing Pornography Cheating?
Yes. Absolutely.
If your partner is watching pornography for sexual gratification behind your back, they are mentally and physically engaging with someone else. That fantasy continues beyond the screen, into private thoughts and even during physical intimacy with you. When someone fantasizes about another person for sexual satisfaction, that’s emotional and physical betrayal. That is cheating.
A polygraph test can provide clarity within hours. In just 1.5 to 3 hours, you can learn exactly how much your partner views pornography, what kind, and why.
That information allows you to decide whether to stay, seek help, or move on, and, in serious cases, whether to protect your children from exposure to harmful material.
Seek a qualified, experienced polygraph examiner for this type of test. The truth matters, and choosing the right professional makes all the difference.
Visit www.executiveprotectiongrp.com for more information or to schedule your private, confidential polygraph test.
Flirting Outside the Relationship: Where the Line Is Crossed
Is flirting cheating? Yes.
To be clear, simple compliments like “thank you” or “have a great day” aren’t the issue.
Flirting becomes problematic when it’s intentional and suggestive. For example: “You look good in those jeans… I bet you look even better out of them.” Once the intention shifts to attraction, interest, or emotional availability, that’s crossing the line.
Flirting can lead to banter, then emotional connection, and eventually physical acts.
If you notice a pattern, don’t explode or accuse right away. Observe, gather information, and when you’re ready, request a polygraph examination to uncover the truth.
There’s always a reason behind flirtatious behavior. Even if it doesn’t lead to physical contact, the act itself violates trust and emotional boundaries.
Emotional Affairs: The Hidden Form of Cheating
Having a deep emotional attachment to someone outside your relationship is absolutely cheating.
Emotional affairs are especially common among women, who often need emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. Men, on the other hand, tend to pursue physical connection first, often using emotional manipulation to get there.
Emotional cheating often starts with innocent conversations that turn into meaningful connections, such as compliments, late-night talks, or confessions about relationship struggles.
These exchanges trigger emotional dependency and attachment that can be just as devastating as physical infidelity.
Here’s how emotional manipulation often plays out:
“My husband never pays attention to me.”
“If you were with me, I’d tell you how beautiful you are every day.”
The woman hears affection and validation. The man sees an opportunity for physical gain.
This cycle creates pain, confusion, and long-term damage for partners, families, and children.
A Word of Warning
Ladies: think twice before believing flattering words from a man when your current relationship is struggling.
Men: think before risking your family, job, or reputation for temporary gratification.
One reckless decision can destroy years of trust and stability.
Choosing the Right Polygraph Examiner
When it comes to infidelity, addiction, and rebuilding trust, the truth is powerful.
A polygraph test can bring total closure, helping you move forward and rebuild your life with clarity and confidence.
Not every examiner has the skill or experience to handle sensitive relationship cases. Before hiring one, verify their credentials, experience, and reputation.
Look for examiners who:
Have years of experience with relationship and infidelity testing.
Are licensed, board-certified, and court-recognized.
Have positive reviews and verified professional referrals.
Can clearly explain their process and procedures before the test.
Maintain a spotless professional record with no history of lawsuits, ethical complaints, or questionable conduct found online.
Experience and credibility matter. Poorly conducted tests from inexperienced or unethical examiners can cause more harm than healing.
When the Truth Matters, So Does the Examiner You Choose
Connect with Mr. David Goldberg, founder of Executive Protection Group and a Virginia State-Licensed, Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner. With over 30 years of combined experience in investigative work and polygraph science, Mr. Goldberg is trusted by clients across the country for his professionalism, compassion, and unmatched expertise.
Based in Virginia Beach, we proudly serve clients not only across Virginia but throughout the country. Mr. Goldberg is highly sought after by individuals and professionals nationwide and is available to travel for private, on-site polygraph examinations in all matters of importance.
At Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service, our mission is simple: to eliminate doubt, uncover the truth, and provide you with the clarity and confidence to move forward.
Take the first step toward truth, resolution, and freedom—with Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service.
To learn more about how we can support you, visit our website or call today to schedule your private, professional polygraph examination.
Because when the truth matters most, so does the examiner you choose.
