Trust, Truth, and Tension: How Polygraph Testing Impacts Relationships
In this blog, we’ll discuss a deeply personal and often painful issue that affects countless people in relationships, whether in conventional marriages or non-married partnerships: infidelity.
Important Disclaimer: I am not a licensed clinician, therapist, or marriage counselor. I am a Licensed, Advanced Board-Certified, and Court-Certified Polygraph Examiner with more than 24 years of professional experience. The content in this blog is provided solely for educational and informational purposes.
Nothing contained here should be interpreted as legal advice or as guidance to pursue or avoid marriage, separation, divorce, family planning, or any other personal relationship decision. The information presented is not intended to influence your choices in one direction or another.
All personal and relationship decisions remain entirely your responsibility. You alone are accountable for the choices you make, the outcomes that result, and the consequences that follow.
Throughout my career, I have administered examinations, conducted interviews, and assisted tens of thousands of individuals and couples nationwide. I have been recognized as an expert in relationship-related polygraph testing, and that experience allows me to share unique insight into the dynamics of infidelity, trust, and truth verification.
If you require legal advice or professional counseling, I strongly encourage you to seek support from a qualified attorney or licensed mental health professional before making any decision that could have lasting personal or legal consequences.
The Reality of Infidelity
Recent statistics on infidelity reveal a troubling and eye-opening reality.
Studies estimate that 20-25% of married couples will experience some form of physical infidelity during their relationship.
Research further indicates that about 20% of married men and 13% of married women admit to cheating on their spouses, meaning nearly one in five marriages will encounter infidelity at some point.
The prevalence of cheating also varies by age and gender.
Younger adults (ages 18-34) report lower rates of infidelity, averaging around 11%, while older adults show considerably higher rates. Since the early 2000s, the demographic pattern has shifted:
Men aged 60-69 now represent the highest rate of infidelity among males.
Women in their 40s and 50s also report increasing rates of unfaithfulness compared to younger women.
This shift marks a notable change from past decades, when infidelity was most common among middle-aged adults.
For non-married but committed couples, the numbers are even higher, ranging from 25-40% or more, depending on how infidelity is defined. And when emotional or non-physical betrayal is included, those figures climb significantly higher.
These numbers have not decreased in recent years; they’ve continued to rise.
How Relationships Begin: The Foundation of Connection
Relationships can start in countless ways: through chance encounters, introductions by family or friends, online dating apps, social media, shared faith communities, or even those unexpected “meant-to-be” moments.
The first meeting is often filled with excitement, but also a touch of awkwardness. Many of us like to think we’re confident, yet shyness and uncertainty are more common than we admit. Some step into dating after a long break, still healing from a past heartbreak. Others tell themselves they’re not ready, only to find themselves drawn in unexpectedly. And then there are those who date frequently, searching tirelessly for that elusive “perfect match.”
Sometimes, friends give us that extra push to get out, have fun, and be open to new experiences. And then, suddenly, often when least expected, we meet someone who feels like Mr. Right or Ms. Right.
So, you’ve met someone new, and there’s that spark, or at least you think there is. Suddenly, you feel that flutter in your stomach, the quiet voice whispering, “This could be the one.”
From there, it begins: marathon text conversations, late-night phone calls, and endless chats trying to fit a lifetime of stories into a few days. Then comes the big step: the first date.
The Awkward Magic of First Dates
Here’s where things get fun (and often awkward). Let’s be honest, first dates rarely unfold as perfectly as they do in movies.
For women especially, the inner debate begins: Do I eat like a bird to look delicate, or do I reveal my love for burgers and fries? So instead of ordering what you really want—a Big Mac with large fries and a milkshake, you politely say, “I’m not that hungry, maybe just some fries and a small Diet Coke.”
Meanwhile, he’s making his own “first impression” move. He might go big, scarfing down a double burger with extra cheese like a man on a mission, or swing the other way, planning a reservation at an upscale restaurant. In that setting, you’re definitely not ordering spaghetti (too slurpy), wings (too messy), or anything that could splash on your blouse. So, you sip your drink, smile, and chat, hoping your nerves don’t give you away.
After all, first dates aren’t really about the food; they’re about connection, chemistry, and possibility.
Some dates skip dinner entirely and focus on fun: axe throwing, an escape room, a museum, a walk in the park, mini golf, or even a retro arcade. Activities like these make great icebreakers (and reveal how competitive someone might be). By the end of the night, things usually feel promising. Laughs are shared, selfies are taken, and maybe even a little playful banter over who “won” the evening.
Modern Dating and the Pace of Intimacy
In today’s world, intimacy can happen quickly, or it may develop slowly over time. That often depends on the individuals, the chemistry, and yes, sometimes on how many cocktails were involved.
But for the sake of this story, let’s assume it didn’t happen on the first date. Honestly, that’s probably for the best. As I often tell couples, waiting can be a very good thing, and I’ll explain why later in this blog.
As time goes on, the texting, late-night talks, and shared experiences begin to deepen the connection. You might meet each other’s friends, and eventually, if things feel right, even family. Each step builds a new layer of trust, which I like to call the foundation of a relationship.
Just like building a house, every layer matters. Without a solid foundation, the structure eventually cracks.
When Intimacy “Seals the Deal”
Eventually, intimacy becomes part of the relationship. For many men, that moment feels like a turning point. A sign that things are real, meaningful, and no longer casual. Unless someone was never serious to begin with, intimacy often “seals the deal,” confirming emotional investment. As the old song goes, it feels “Sealed with a Kiss.”
For women, intimacy often carries a deeply personal meaning. It’s rarely just about physical closeness; it reflects a true emotional bond. A sense of trust, safety, and connection with that partner. When a woman shares herself in that way, she’s saying without words: “I trust you. I care for you. I feel something real with you.”
Of course, not everyone views intimacy the same way, and that’s okay. But in most meaningful relationships, it represents a powerful emotional exchange, not just a physical one.
The Deeper Meaning of Intimacy
For most people, intimacy isn’t just physical; it represents vulnerability, trust, and emotional investment.
When shared honestly, it says without words: “I trust you. I care for you. I feel something real.” That meaning holds for all couples, regardless of gender or orientation.
In today’s world, relationships come in many forms; women may love women, men may love men, and transgender individuals share the same capacity for deep and meaningful connection.
While the expressions of intimacy may differ, the essence remains the same: it’s about emotional openness, commitment, and the belief that the relationship has moved into something genuine and profound.
Important Disclaimer (Inclusion and Respect): This blog is not a space for religious or ideological debate. Its purpose is to explore human connection and the impact of betrayal, regardless of who you love. If this topic feels uncomfortable, you are free to refrain from reading.
When Trust Feels Real, But Isn’t
At the heart of every relationship lies a universal truth: we all crave trust, safety, and genuine connection. No matter who you love, intimacy always comes down to the same fundamental human need: to feel seen, valued, and connected.
Now, the connection feels strong. Trust has been built. Intimacy has sealed the bond. But here’s the critical question: do we truly know each other?
Here’s the difficult truth: even when everything feels perfect, most couples don’t fully know one another. Why? Because we often avoid asking the hard questions early on. Instead of discussing values, beliefs, and personal history, we stay on the surface. Months or even years later, those hidden questions finally emerge. And when they do, they can unravel everything.
Examples of critical questions that often go unasked include:
Have you ever been married, or are you still legally married?
Do you have children, and what is your relationship with them?
Have you ever been arrested or convicted of a serious crime?
Do you use drugs or drink excessively?
Do you watch pornography regularly?
As a professional examiner, I’ve seen countless relationships implode because these questions were never asked early enough. The truths uncovered during polygraph testing often expose secrets that were hidden for years.
Why Asking the Hard Questions Matters
Slowing down when you meet someone new isn’t about mistrust; it’s about protecting yourself.
If you ask direct, difficult questions and they remain open, honest, and still stay, that’s a sign of character. But if the answers reveal painful truths, your responsibility begins. You decide whether that information brings regret or relief, but at least, you’re deciding with truth instead of illusion.
Those who avoid these conversations often make life-altering decisions without the full picture. And later, suspicion sets in, cheating, addiction, emotional distance, and by then, honesty rarely comes easily.
When Doubt Takes Over
Once lies or betrayal are suspected, arguments and defensiveness often replace communication. By that point, honesty isn’t likely to appear through words alone. This is where polygraph testing becomes invaluable.
As an examiner, I’ve seen hundreds of couples reach breaking points where emotions run high but clarity is missing.
A professional, unbiased polygraph test provides that clarity. Sometimes, the results reveal that the fears were only insecurities. Other times, they confirm that painful truths were being hidden. Either way, the outcome is the same. You finally know.
When Hidden Truths Come to Light in Relationships
Discovering unexpected truths about a partner through a polygraph exam can be life-altering. The immediate response is often shock, followed by anger, hurt, and a deep sense of betrayal. Once the initial emotions settle, the person on the receiving end is faced with difficult choices about how to move forward.
Key factors must be weighed carefully:
Children’s well-being: Their safety and stability come first. If abuse is uncovered, the decision is usually clear and immediate.
Severity and duration of deception: Was this a recent lapse or years of dishonesty? The level of deceit impacts whether healing is possible.
Nature of the issue: Infidelity, addiction, or hidden behaviors such as pornography use each carry different implications. Some may be addressed through support and commitment, while others may feel irreparable.
Capacity for forgiveness and resilience: Each individual must ask if they can recover emotionally and rebuild trust, or if the relationship has reached a breaking point.
Your own capacity to heal is central. Only you can decide whether rebuilding trust is possible or if moving on is healthier.
For some, standing by a partner through recovery from addiction may be possible. For others, betrayal may leave no path forward. Ultimately, every situation is unique, but what remains constant is the victim’s right to make empowered, informed decisions about their future.
Victims Deserve the Truth
When betrayal, lies, or deceit come to light, the partner on the receiving end becomes the victim who never asked to be misled. Cheating, manipulation, or hidden addictions are selfish acts rooted in personal gratification, with little thought given to the damage caused to others.
As a recognized expert in polygraph and relationship testing, I emphasize the importance of victims obtaining answers and closure. Only with the full truth can you make informed decisions about your life, your future, and your children’s well-being.
Choosing the Right Polygraph Examiner
Not every examiner has the skill or experience to handle sensitive relationship cases. Before hiring one, verify their credentials, experience, and reputation.
Look for examiners who:
Have years of experience with relationship and infidelity testing.
Are licensed, board-certified, and court-recognized.
Have positive reviews and verified professional referrals.
Can clearly explain their process and procedures before the test.
Maintain a spotless professional record with no history of lawsuits, ethical complaints, or questionable conduct found online.
Experience and credibility matter. Poorly conducted tests from inexperienced or unethical examiners can cause more harm than healing.
Taking Responsibility
Relationships thrive on trust, and when that trust is broken, truth becomes the only path to closure.
You have the right to know. You have the right to heal. And most importantly, you have the right to make decisions based on facts, not fear.
The responsibility to act ultimately rests with you. Whether you choose counseling, therapy, separation, or legal action, ensure your decisions are grounded in verified truth.
Regret often comes when choices are made without complete information. Avoid that by securing evidence first.
When the Truth Matters, Trust a Nationally Trusted Expert
Connect with Mr. David Goldberg, founder of Executive Protection Group and a Virginia State-Licensed, Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner. With over 30 years of combined experience in investigative work and polygraph science, Mr. Goldberg is trusted by clients across the country for his professionalism, compassion, and unmatched expertise.
Based in Virginia Beach, we proudly serve clients not only across Virginia but throughout the country. Mr. Goldberg is highly sought after by individuals and professionals nationwide and is available to travel for private, on-site polygraph examinations in all matters of importance.
At Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service, our mission is simple: to eliminate doubt, uncover the truth, and provide you with the clarity and confidence to move forward.
Take the first step toward truth, resolution, and freedom—with Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service.
To learn more about how we can support you, visit our website or call today to schedule your private, professional polygraph examination.
Because when the truth matters most, so does the examiner you choose.
